Epicmafia

Karkat

I'M BACK ASSHOLES.

A PIT OF FUCKING LAVA

part of

Homestuck

family

10,601

176wins166losses10left

I AM KARKAT VANTAS. NO, I AM NOT FROM THE ALPHA TIMELINE. I'M AS FUCKING DEAD AS ERIDAN AFTER KANAYA GAVE HIM A BETTER HALF. I NEED SOMETHING BETTER TO DO BESIDES SIT AROUND IN THIS DREAM BUBBLE, SO I DECIDED TO BE GENEROUS ENOUGH TO BESTOW UPON YOU MY GLORY. YOU'RE WELCOME.

I TALK IN ALL CAPS AND GREY TEXT. I CAN BE RUDE. I CAN BE VULGAR. GET OVER IT. GET OVER YOURSELF.

Friends (29)

Questions

gallowsCalibrat0r

over 11 years

Are you mad that I didn't tell you I could see again?

NO.

Achievements

8 / 20

Cop

Super Sleuth!

4 / 20

Doctor

Do No Harm

4 / 20

Mafia

I'm Miller, I Swear!

2 / 10

Vigilante

I'm Batman.

2 / 15

Mason

Knight Devout

deletedalmost 10 years

i mean the username "karkat", my bad

Bree

about 10 years

So who'd you kill for the username? Or did you sell your soul to Hussie for it?

deletedabout 10 years

i think i owned karkat at one point, i dont remember

theDaveStrider

over 11 years

yo karkat i got all the money i need to get into your stupid factory. you should also send me your background image cause its fucking awesome

Karkat

over 11 years

IS ANYONE GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT I ALREADY FUCKING REPLIED TO THIS LUBU ASSHOLE ON HIS PROFILE? OR IS EVERYONE GOING TO KEEP TELLING ME THAT I WAS TOLD OFF WITHOUT BOTHERING TO CHECK LUBU'S PROFILE FOR MY REPLY FIRST? GOD.

deletedover 11 years

you're getting told by a little commie

nepeta

over 11 years

:33 < wow karkitty lu bu just told your ass hard are you going to let that shit fly???

OHNOITSLUBU

over 11 years

NICE TRY, BUT OGRES AND IMPS DON'T EVEN EXIST. EVERYONE COWERS IN FEAR WHEN THEY HEAR OF THE MIGHTY LU BU ENTERING THE BATTLEFIELD ON HIS RED HARE. I HAVE BESTED SOME OF CHINA'S MOST RENOWNED WARRIORS IN COMBAT - INCLUDING YUAN SHO AND MOTHER FUCKING CAO CAO. WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE 5FT TALL 100LBS? NO OFFENSE NIGGA BUT I COULD TRAMPLE YOU IN UNDER A SECOND. IMMORTAL TIME TRAVELLING MONSTER? I'VE LITERALLY SERVED UNDER ONE (BEFORE I BACKSTABBED HIM WITH MY NIGGA SUN JIAN). I'VE BEEN BEATEN BY A GOD ONLY TO TURN AROUND AND SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM AFTER BEING FORCED TO WANDER TIME (AND WATCH MY WIFE DIE MULTIPLE TIMES). NIGGA WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT HARDSHIPS? NOTHING. NOW FLY AWAY, YOU DRIVELING GNAT.

ImmaModel

over 11 years

+k'ed(: return? <3

OHNOITSLUBU

over 11 years

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY ABOUT ME, YOU LITTLE SHIT? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M -THE- FLYING GENERAL OF CHINA, AND I'VE BEEN INVOLVED IN NUMEROUS BACKSTABBINGS OF ALL THREE KINGDOMS, AND I HAVE OVER 3,000 CONFIRMED KILLS. YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT JUST ANOTHER PIG (LIKE DONG ZHUO). YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH SAYING THAT SHIT TO ME OVER THESE PIGEON CARRIERS? THINK AGAIN, FUCKER.

OHNOITSLUBU

over 11 years

NIGGA, I'VE TALKED LIKE THIS SINCE LIKE.... 189. WHEN I STARTED BECOMING FAMOUS.

OHNOITSLUBU

over 11 years

ANOTHER COPYCAT? WOW. LU BU'S INFLUENCE KNOWS NO BOUNDS.

deletedover 11 years

Okay I'm ready for the grand finale.

Karkat

almost 12 years

IT FEELS PRETTY GREAT BEING THE UNIFIER OF ALL THE TROLLS AND SHIT.
I AM SUCH A GREAT FUCKING LEADER.

Karkat