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Boyfriend for Sammy

deletedover 7 years

hey fellas it's me sana. so my good pal Samuel (known as epicmafia user sammy) has been feeling kinda lonely lately and i've taken it upon myself to find him a nice boyfriend due to my excellent taste as well as my samaritan nature!

all offers will be considered by me, however there are a few requirements:

  1. must be a person of colour
  2. sammy wanted me to come up with more requirements however i can't really think of anything specific so i'll be the judge of whether or not i think you're a good match overall and might make up some requirements as i go along this quest of bf-hunting

here are the reasons sammy would be a good boyfriend:

  1. biggest carly rae jepsen stan in the world
  2. has one of the most viewed threads on epicmafia
  3. is epicmafia user sammy
  4. is at least a 3.5 (better than most of epicmafia)

however, there are some minor cons to dating sammy:

  1. he suffers from urinary incontinence (but he makes up for this with his larger than life personality)
  2. he plays league

everyone has some baggage and if you can get over those two faults you'll be sure to have a good time!

tl;dr sammy would be a great boyfriend and applications are now open

over 7 years
i got nausea reading this
deletedover 7 years

hals says



don't even bother signing up, he's already mine


dsflkfdsklsfdlkaslfkdfd
over 7 years
i’ll be sammy’s bf
deletedover 7 years


don't even bother signing up, he's already mine
over 7 years
i'm signing up!!!!
deletedover 7 years
sishen is more of a side piece
deletedover 7 years

sigh says

how about sishen


mnsdfnmdmnsdfmnmansd i hate u
deletedover 7 years
going off of what sammy said:
considering sammy rejected my good friend after telling me in great detail how much he wants to ride him, applications are still open
deletedover 7 years
how about sishen
deletedover 7 years
still looking guys!
deletedover 7 years
sammy, stop looking for a boyfriend.
deletedover 7 years

sigh says

sammy is nice we like to married couple roleplay but with a dark twist that explores the underbelly of marriage (a sacred, holy union between a man and a woman). the last mcrp (married couple roleplay) we had ended with sammy (the husband) killing himself and me (the wife) then writhing around in his blood, eventually drowning myself in it


SDAFKSKJJKFDSDKSKLFDKLS
over 7 years
Sammy racist confirmed
over 7 years
requirement 2: must be a chav
deletedover 7 years
i once dated sammy, can confirm he is a great boyo and satisfactory for your boyfriend needs
over 7 years
sammy is so nice i would date him but i'm a girl :l
over 7 years
I'm too high fashion, sorry
deletedover 7 years
sammy is nice we like to married couple roleplay but with a dark twist that explores the underbelly of marriage (a sacred, holy union between a man and a woman). the last mcrp (married couple roleplay) we had ended with sammy (the husband) killing himself and me (the wife) then writhing around in his blood, eventually drowning myself in it
over 7 years
I'm a person of colour
over 7 years
I'm too asexual, sorry
over 7 years
I am too old, sorry
over 7 years
it's ok im above his pay grade anyway sry sam
deletedover 7 years

Bebop says

every thread is mine


gonna take this as you applying for the role of sammy's boyfriend. unfortunately you can not be accepted because sammy is too classy to be a homewrecker (and also an unwritten requirement is that your hair cannot exceed the length of 6 inches)
over 7 years
sammy is so nice i would date him but i'm a girl :l
over 7 years
every thread is mine