My Fake Report Generator
[Submitted by IAMCOP] A dog walks up to a bed and breakfast, asking for some pigs with a blanket. The cook goes out, slaughters the pigs, cooks them up ( as sausages ), puts them under a couple of pancakes. The dog looks at the cook and says, you messed up my order. The cook says, "How?" and the dog merely states. "I've been traveling all day, so I'm tired, I want a blanket to sleep on, and i'm hungry, so I want to eat a whole pig"
A Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
ImTheFooI: And who the hell led the player one lynch? emfirk: playerone
Sargon: P1 was tracker, watcher, and bg. Epic fail because he died. Bligie: tracker, claim, pleasezorz Sargon: Rest of us are blue. Kay90: lol dacoltsgirl87: p1 does so much for the world dacoltsgirl87: WHYD HE HAVE TO GO pintoo287: lol dacoltsgirl87: cries ... Bligie: p1 doesn't exist to me
playerone, the bodyguard, has died a bloody death. scaleyscale: oh shit Sp3000: OMG NO WAI empath: bless you player1 VirusBro: gawt Sp3000: Did maf say "kill playerone" for reals?! RedCoyote: he was a hero RedCoyote: a true hero Sp3000: RIP playerone (pro) 7 November 2008 RedCoyote: He would've wanted that RedCoyote: on his tombstone RedCoyote: we all know how much he called himself a pro empath: fos on Red RedCoyote: XD Sp3000: Epitaph: The great BG who would have defended many..but didn't get the chance to.
DISGUISER TIPS: 1. It's all about WIFOM First thing you should say is: I'm not p1! I'm really disguiser disguised as p1
Be a Player Hit on all females in the room between ages unknown to 100. Remember, <3 <3 <3 (hearts) are good, and a good [kirby] dance ain't bad either <(^_^<)
Bite Around Do not sit like a lame duck, be aggressive, accuse people and get them lynched instead of waiting for someone to accuse p1 (which happens each and every day - even when there are inno reports on p1)!