Please read this. You and I have never talked before, and I would be lying if I said I knew exactly what was causing you to do whatever you plan on doing. Please realize that whatever you're going through isn't something unbeatable. A lot of people have gone through whatever you're going through now. Based on your wall I'm going to assume it's some form of depression, but depression is still beatable. I know it's practically cliche to be saying what I'm saying but I want to let you know that you can't allow months or years of depression to break you. There was a light at the end of the tunnel for me and I'm sure there's one for you too, but please don't give up on looking for that light.