bleh, looks like i missed you. i was watching a movie with my fam. although it's only like 7:00 your time so idk if you're out being a drunk yet. if you come back, find me!
Ok so first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! It's hard to be happy today, since you're getting so old and people will expect babies, but try not to be too much of a downer for once. Since I support your birthday, I wanted to come up with a birthday present. I thought I had the perfect idea: Cookies. I know how much you love cookies and I wanted to send you some real life cookies. Then I realized there's one thing you love even more than cookies: Rebecca Black's songs. I rewrote parts of "Friday" for you so you can still sing her song even though it is not actually Friday. I know you're ecstatic about getting this, but seriously, I don't need anything in return. Just enjoy it all day long! I will mail a pastebin link so you can read the text more easily and print it out to take to work and go to bed with (instead of some old lady). If you ever doubted my feelings of pure friendship towards you, this will solve every doubt. Enjoy your day, Sir! - Your dear and thoughtful friend G.
Five a.m., waking up and I'm older Gotta act fresh, gotta go to work Gotta have my beer, gotta have booze Sleepin' on the floor, my body hurts Hurtin' more and more, I feel so old Gotta get down to the kayak place Gotta go alone, I have no friends (No friends)
Listenin' to this beat Gettin' old, I feel beat Gotta figure it out Can I get older still?
It's Birthday, Birthday Getting real old on birthday Everybody's lookin' at me weirdly, weirdly Birthday, birthday Gettin' drunk on birthday Everybody's lookin' cause I'm really old
Partyin', partyin' (old) Partyin', partyin' (old) drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk Workin' is fun when you're drunk
6:45, I'm arrivin' at work Drinkin' so fast, I don't want to work Old, old, getting so old You know what it is I got beer, you got beer My boss is by my side, ay I got beer, you got beer Now you drink it
Listenin' to this beat Gettin' I old, I feel beat Gotta stop my drinkin' Cause now I feel so ill
It's birthday, birthday Gotta get laid on birthday Everybody's lookin' so good cause i'm real drunk, real drunk birthday, birthday Find grans on birthday Everybody's lookin' forward to my mistakes
Partyin', partyin' (old) Partyin', partyin' (old) drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk Gettin' fired on my birthday