I'm currently on the other side of this. Life is strange.
I'm not going to speculate on reasons it's happening or whether to move on or stay or whatever. I'd say to just remember that you don't need a SO to be happy, you should be whole within yourself, and that you'll get that way even if you aren't that way now-let no one get in the way of that. If you feel it will work, then hope she comes around, but remember that it'll always, always be okay if not.
It's also cliche but there really are many fish in the sea. She isn't "the destined one". She is someone you met and got along with very well. From what I've seen I think you know the inherent, diverse value in all people. You are wonderfully complex, and so is she, and so will others that will come and go in your life.
Finally just remember how much happiness you've had and compare it to the sadness you'll have if it ends. People tend to get vindictive at the end of relationships out of heartbreak, and sometimes people take from it "I shouldn't have invested myself in the first place." You don't get to be as happy as you were without risking that this would happen someday, and that's okay. Don't make it harder than it has to be if it happens.
Nah you got it backwards you're only annoying like 2-3% of the time =p The rest of the time you're quite funny/pleasant/sane and you should always feel free to discuss your issues on your personal em blog!
I know it's not comforting at this stage but... You now have an opportunity to rebuild yourself and become a greater person than you ever thought you could be.
Breaks are dumb, it's like "im doing something.. either breaking up with you, or there's another dude, or maybe i'll decide im wrong and come back" and it's honestly quite selfish to give urself all the options and leave the other person guessing and vulnerable
Nah, its quite obvious that its going to end from how it went down. The longer rutab holds on the longer the longer its gonna hurt, been there done that basically.
To take a cold logical approach to this.. she's given multiple reasons for needing a "break" while in reality there's likely only one driving force. She says she needs to think, and that you're very different and also that she may be too busy for a relationship. The former 2 are consistent with each other, while the "too busy" doesn't really fit at all imo. A decision for a break realistically won't be motivated by both internal AND external factors.
My guess is that she's been thinking about if you're right for her for a while and either knows how devastating a break up would be to you and has chosen the slow route to minimize her feeling of hurting you (even though this hurts just as much if not more?), OR she's just wondering if she'd be happier without you, and wants to test that.
The fact that she gave you an extra reason honestly, for me, points to her doing the slow breakup. Letting go is probably the safer thing for you at this point.
if i was unhappy with something robert did, i would tell him that and we'd come to a conclusion about who was wrong and if it will happen again(the answer should be no)
if i was unhappy with the way robert was as a person, i'd communicate that and see if there's a way to fix it(but you can't really change who someone is) if there wasn't, we'd break up. how is this complicated at all? i hate people sometimes
deletedover 8 years
I think that's a little premature at just this moment! They just went on break like hours ago
even if she decides she was being stupid she's literally made a dent in the relationship by doing this and creating distance - it's basically like trying to bounce back from a break up all because she couldn't just communicate this without asking for a break
Whatever it is you do Rutab, dont drag it for too long and ask for a clear-cut answer. It's not really worth the emotional stress it'll cause you by dragging this too long
It seems like the core of her reason is a feeling of mismatched-ness, whether that's the real reason or not. You mentioned you feel yourself like you're different. If you care to, elaborate on that.
