Back to Off Topic

jokes thread

yoyo200900
almost 8 years

In this thread we will share our own jokes that we have made up

here is one to get us started:

Q: what do you call a person that gets rid of espionage agents and also hates a lot of things

A: a despiser

all rankings are in accordance with participants' posts in this thread and are listed chronologically according to when participants made their contributions

funny people:

  1. yoyo200900
  2. Miao (now known as Ellary)
  3. Soluciones
  4. error
  5. DreamGate
  6. NeverJest
  7. xKades
  8. darling

unfunny people:

  1. freshman
  2. JohnBatman
  3. iatepewdiepie
  4. tkeign
  5. fatkid2467
  6. CassidyCascade
  7. TheMofonator
  8. thelastchromosome
  9. Heck
  10. massad
  11. lmao
  12. Kare2
  13. DatGuiser (AKA Orienteering)
  14. Falconpunch
  15. Lirim
  16. toriiiii

unoriginal people (worse than unfunny):

  1. Kadonker
  2. Arcbell
  3. firesheep
  4. Bebop
  5. Ganja
  6. Despare
  7. moused
  8. Intrat
  9. Fyre
  10. evolpz
  11. mindful
  12. KinkajusRevenge
  13. PonyLove
  14. gom
  15. bulla
  16. xxerox
  17. peach
  18. Doug1984
  19. ToweIie
  20. Herredy
  21. Paradox42
  22. codeslicer
  23. Grannie
  24. k9trip
  25. MyMainAlt
  26. UltraAug
  27. dust
  28. Reporterino
  29. Boo
  30. Iamqtiepie
  31. xtal
  32. powerofdeath
  33. Rydia
  34. shayneismyname

butthurt losers:

  1. elephantasm (as per usual)
deletedalmost 8 years
FINE YOU WANT ORIGINAL

"Q. What would the Dark Lord use to expand his vocabulary?

A. A the-sauron"

My career as a lord of the rings specific stand up comic is going up in Smaug.

I need to stop dragon it along.

I'm saru, man, for being so cheesy.

You're probably wondering what I'm Tolkien about.

I love puns, If I were in the audience watching a comic like me, I'd be goblin this stuff up.

For example

Do orcs listen to orchestra?
yoyo200900
almost 8 years

CassidyCascade says

what goes up the more it makes me feel down?
depression


at least it was original
loris
almost 8 years

jess says


CassidyCascade says

what goes up the more it makes me feel down?
depression


gg son


I saw +10 votes and i was like wow that was fast and then i saw who voted and it was just you way to ruin my dreams
jess
almost 8 years

CassidyCascade says

what goes up the more it makes me feel down?
depression


gg son
loris
almost 8 years
what goes up the more it makes me feel down?
depression
jess
almost 8 years
if thats supposed to be a real joke yoyo u suck
jess
almost 8 years

Pinche says

the joke in the OP is so fu'cking stupid


wait... i thought that was like a fake joke
deletedalmost 8 years
the joke in the OP is so fu'cking stupid
deletedalmost 8 years

iatepewdiepie says


yoyo200900 says

sorry, but "18 nigg-" does not constitute as a joke or even as funny


really?

well i rate ur shitti reviews 9/11 go bomb urself
(comdey)


possibly the first time i've ever agreed with yoyo was in thinking that you are not in the least bit funny
moused
almost 8 years
so there's this guy and he's the captain of this friendly ship. things are going well until the guy up in the crow's nest comes down and is losing his mind. "CAP'N, WE GOT A PIRATE SHIP APPROACHING!" the captain calmly turns to the guy and says "alright, get everybody prepped for a battle. also, bring me my red shirt.". crow's nest guy is confused but brings the captain his red shirt and preps for a fight. the fight goes on and the captain's crew wins. after the battle, crow's nest guy walks up to captain and politely asks "sir, why did you ask me to bring you a red shirt?". the captain smiles and says "well, if i were to be wounded, no one would see my blood and feel discouraged." this makes sense, so the crow's nest guy nodded and went up to his post. the next day, the crow's nest guy sees 20 pirate ships approaching! horrified, he runs to the captain and screams "CAPTAIN, WE'VE GOT TWENTY PIRATE SHIPS!". everyone is silent. crow's nest guy lifts his head and says "captain, do you need your red shirt?". the captain shakes his head and says "no, son, bring me my brown pants"
yoyo200900
almost 8 years

Despare says


yoyo200900 says


Despare says


yoyo200900 says

autism alert


why are you alerting us to your presence?


too similar to the classic "i know you are but what am i" move. you can go in the unoriginal category with your boyfriend


Your reading skills must be similar to your joking skills.

Laughable.


i don't get it
deletedalmost 8 years

yoyo200900 says


Despare says


yoyo200900 says

autism alert


why are you alerting us to your presence?


too similar to the classic "i know you are but what am i" move. you can go in the unoriginal category with your boyfriend


Your reading skills must be similar to your joking skills.

Laughable.
iatepewdiepie
almost 8 years
yoyo supports incest confirmed


#YOYOSUPPORTSINCEST2K17
iatepewdiepie
almost 8 years

yoyo200900 says

please tone it down iatepewdiepie this is supposed to be a feel good family friendly thread


u know what's something feel-good that family does?

incest
yoyo200900
almost 8 years
please tone it down iatepewdiepie this is supposed to be a feel good family friendly thread
iatepewdiepie
almost 8 years

freshman says

what is trash


Me


let me fix it for you:

What is freshman?






trash
iatepewdiepie
almost 8 years

yoyo200900 says

sorry, but "18 nigg-" does not constitute as a joke or even as funny


really?

well i rate ur shitti reviews 9/11 go bomb urself
(comdey)
yoyo200900
almost 8 years
sorry, but "18 nigg-" does not constitute as a joke or even as funny
iatepewdiepie
almost 8 years
18 NIGG-
yoyo200900
almost 8 years

LucidIsMe says

What do you get when you cross your dreams with something wet? LucidRains


good effort. not refined enough to join the esteemed funny section but i won't rank you unfunny as of yet, maybe work on this joke and you will have something
iatepewdiepie
almost 8 years

yoyo200900 says

autism alert


nah puppysonata isn't anywhere close.

fix ur alerts m8
yoyo200900
almost 8 years

Despare says


yoyo200900 says

autism alert


why are you alerting us to your presence?


too similar to the classic "i know you are but what am i" move. you can go in the unoriginal category with your boyfriend
deletedalmost 8 years
What do you get when you cross your dreams with something wet? LucidRains
deletedalmost 8 years

yoyo200900 says

autism alert


why are you alerting us to your presence?
deletedalmost 8 years
What did the leper say to the hooker?


"Keep the tip"