In this thread we will share our own jokes that we have made up
here is one to get us started:
Q: what do you call a person that gets rid of espionage agents and also hates a lot of things
A: a despiser
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One day, a woman brings her dog to the man's farm. She is worried about the dog. She says ever since the dog's sibling died, he hasn't seemed right. The man agrees to take the dog and care for it. He knows the other animals will comfort it and the dog will enjoy his new family. The woman comes to visit the dog regularly. She becomes familiar with all of the other animals on the farm, and most of all, the man. They spend hours together each visit. Talking and taking care of the animals together. Hours turn to days. Days to weeks. The man asks the woman to live with him and his animals. The woman obliges. They are in love. They are truly happy.
The genie comes to the man one night in his dreams. The genie says to the man "You have lived like no other man; you have loved like no other man; and you have cared like no other man. You have done well".
The man wakes up the next morning and he doesn't feel well. He can't explain it, but somethings not right. Weeks go by and the man's condition seems to worsen. His doctors cannot explain his rapidly deteriorating health. The woman is always by his side when she's not caring for his animals. The woman's dog sleeps at the foot of his bed. Never leaving. At last, it seems like he cannot hold on for much longer. He's barely able to speak at this point. He motions for the woman to come near. He says to her "Do you want to know why I fell in love with you all those years ago? Do you want to know why I love you more and more every day?"
She says, "Yes, my love, tell me."
With his final breath, he tells her "Because you make me feel like a kid again."
He wishes to be turned into a human being. After his transformation, the, now, man is so grateful to the genie. He asks "How can I ever repay you?"
The genie just has this request: That the man make the most of his life and live like no man has lived before; love like no man has loved before; and care like no man has cared before. The man obliges.
He first sets out to find his "calling". Over the years, he works many jobs. He finds himself becoming depressed with the monotony that he has come to know. Finally, he decides to go back to his roots and do what he knows. He becomes a farmer. With the money he has accumulated from his many professions, he buys a large farm where he decides to take in unwanted and ill animals. Goats (obviously), pigs, cows, cats, dogs, and various other animals. He cares for them. He comes to know and understand them. He has a deep connection with them.
I decided against posting that joke I said I was working on. The punchline was "A crowbar" but I couldn't think of a set up. Perhaps, "What do you call a place that black birds meet up to drink together that is also a piece of metal used to pry things apart?".
I'll be your internet boyfriend if you're lonely Elephantasm
deletedover 7 years
I see you masturbate more than you have sex with other humans. Personally I would prefer my intimate experiences to be with a partner, but you do you.
There. Original. Now please move me from that lonely category; I have no intimate experience irl and the internet is my only source of contact with other human beings.
