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jokes thread

almost 8 years

In this thread we will share our own jokes that we have made up

here is one to get us started:

Q: what do you call a person that gets rid of espionage agents and also hates a lot of things

A: a despiser


all rankings are in accordance with participants' posts in this thread and are listed chronologically according to when participants made their contributions


funny people:

  1. yoyo200900
  2. Miao (now known as Ellary)
  3. Soluciones
  4. error
  5. DreamGate
  6. NeverJest
  7. xKades
  8. darling

unfunny people:

  1. freshman
  2. JohnBatman
  3. iatepewdiepie
  4. tkeign
  5. fatkid2467
  6. CassidyCascade
  7. TheMofonator
  8. thelastchromosome
  9. Heck
  10. massad
  11. lmao
  12. Kare2
  13. DatGuiser (AKA Orienteering)
  14. Falconpunch
  15. Lirim
  16. toriiiii

unoriginal people (worse than unfunny):

  1. Kadonker
  2. Arcbell
  3. firesheep
  4. Bebop
  5. Ganja
  6. Despare
  7. moused
  8. Intrat
  9. Fyre
  10. evolpz
  11. mindful
  12. KinkajusRevenge
  13. PonyLove
  14. gom
  15. bulla
  16. xxerox
  17. peach
  18. Doug1984
  19. ToweIie
  20. Herredy
  21. Paradox42
  22. codeslicer
  23. Grannie
  24. k9trip
  25. MyMainAlt
  26. UltraAug
  27. dust
  28. Reporterino
  29. Boo
  30. Iamqtiepie
  31. xtal
  32. powerofdeath
  33. Rydia
  34. shayneismyname

butthurt losers:

  1. elephantasm (as per usual)
deletedover 7 years
a doctor who wants to save someone?
over 7 years
What do you call it when a medical professional forcefully takes control?
over 7 years
yoyo is unfunny.
deletedover 7 years
it was my joke yoyo. y u hating?
deletedover 7 years
Quistion: What do you the person who wont notice you ?

Answer: Senpai :3
over 7 years
im erected so hard right nao
over 7 years
Folks you haven't read the original post properly. I've highlighted the most important sentence to avoid further confusion.
deletedover 7 years
If i have 6 bottles in one hand and 8 in the other, what do i have?

A drinking problem :D
deletedover 7 years
where am i at, cousin
over 7 years
I don't recognise that username. Please stop posting in the thread unless you are going to contribute an original joke. This is a bad feelings free zone.
deletedover 7 years
if that is true, why do you automatically fos me every game? ur not the only one who foses me every game. also u might recognize my main jacobalt0523
over 7 years

DatGuiser says

wow yoyo has been salty to me for like 7 months now. he aint the only one


I barely recognise your username and have an entirely neutral opinion of you, as if you were someone I had met for the first time
deletedover 7 years
the mod team.
over 7 years
purgatory
deletedover 7 years
a bad joke?
deletedover 7 years
what do you call a joke with no punchline?
over 7 years
(this thread is a joke)
over 7 years
this thread

xddddd
deletedover 7 years
There was a cop who had pulled over a car that was going at 110 mph in the middle of lanes on the freeway. The cop investigates the driver. The cop said, "Ma'am, why were you going so fast, and going between the lanes too?" The lady responded, "I have a liscense to do that." Suddenly confused, the cop said, "Can I see it?" The lady rummages through her purse and pulls out a coupon, where on the corner of the coupon it says, "Tear along the dotted line."
deletedover 7 years
wow yoyo has been salty to me for like 7 months now. he aint the only one
over 7 years

yoyo200900 says

What do you call a Nordic National Socialist that prefers book collecting to book burning


A libraryan
over 7 years
I know one stupid joke!(I edited some details because its from my country)

3 rednecks celebrate 4th of july. They gather all the money they have and go to a fancy hotel to celebrate.

They eat, drink (And when i say drink, i mean a lot of drinks ) and have fun.

Finally before going to bed, they tell the hotel manger: "Give us 3 hookers for the night! We are here paying customers, and we demand Hookers!"

Well now, this is a fancy hotel, and fancy hotels do not have hookers, but the menager got scared from the rednecks...

So he did what he had to do : He put in their beds 3 blow-up dolls.

The next morning the rednecks, all with headache start talking about their nights.

The first one goes:

"My hooker was freaking deaf! I talked so sweet things in her ear, i told her a poem, i called her a bit'ch, but to no avail. She never responded to me even once"

The second one responded:

"Well yours at least wasn't frigid! I touched her - Nothing. Played with her breats, foreplay, licked her , but absolutely nothing!

The third one looks around then says :

"Well you guys were way more lucky than me!

Mine was a witch!

When i penetrated her, she said Fssssssss and flew through the window!"
deletedover 7 years
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lonster with breast implants?

one is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean :D
deletedover 7 years
i djdnt
over 7 years

KinkajusRevenge says


xxerox says

Do you want to know why I love you more and more every day?"

She says, "Yes, my love, tell me."

With his final breath, he tells her "Because you make me feel like a kid again."


That was a good one! I actually lol'd. I'm gonna use that sometime.

I have stories like this, except the punchlines aren't really funny, just anti-climactic. Good for putting campers to sleep.


Glad you got the joke XD